Question:  This little rounder doesn’t want to sleep!  Any advice?

I learned a lot from a book called Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber, who is a sleep doctor and a pediatrician.

1. If your baby has the same basic daily schedule routine  (or “order of service” so to speak!) every day, he might be tired around the same times or at certain parts of the daily routine.  For instance, we eat, then we take a walk, then we nap or play, etc.
2. Have the same soothing bedtime routine with him before each nap.  Sometimes my routine with Gracie is long, and sometimes it is short.  But I always sing her a song.  Sometimes we rock, sometimes I sing for a long time, sometimes I hold her and sort of sway.  I lay her down, fix her blankets, tell her I love her, and usually tussle her hair and give her a kiss on the cheek and say, “Night night, I love you!”
3. If he is used to going down at a certain time, and he does but he just doesn’t fall asleep, that is fine.  He can play, sing, talk …   Some days it takes much longer than other days for Grace to fall asleep.  That’s fine with me. Anyway, if she doesn’t fall asleep  in there and I hear her talking, singing, etc., in her bed, I don’t go in there.  In fact, lately she hasn’t been sleeping during her morning nap time.  But she often gets cranky around 11am, and after that hour to herself she is much more cheerful!  I think it is good for kids to have some “down time” when they can relax a little.  She doesn’t cry about naps and hasn’t for a long time.
4. Often it takes a while for her to fall asleep for her afternoon nap.  This throws her off because when it’s time to wake up and eat dinner at five, she’s sound asleep.  So I open her door at five or whenever supper’s ready, and I let her gradually hear the sounds of our house.  If that doesn’t work, I turn on her light.  If that doesn’t work, I might play music to wake her up.  Or sing a song to her or rub her back or whatever.  She’s always cranky when I wake her up, so I try to be really quiet, hold her as long as she wants if possible, require very little from her, etc…
5. Sometimes when he’s been around a lot of noise, people, toys and he feels overstimulated you might think about putting him down early.
6. Is his room dark/quiet?
7. Is he swaddled?  My babies all loved to be swaddled.
8. You can try to do training for sleeping. Put your baby in their crib for 1 min., let them cry, then come in, pat them on the back, say you love them, and leave for 2 min.  Increase to 3, 4, etc. If he doesn’t sleep after an hour, try his nap an hour later.
9. The next “sleep alone” training session, start with 2 min.  The session after that, start with 3 min.
10. My babies are always so happy because they feed as soon as they wake up, and they are always well-rested!
11. Did you put him down with a pacifier?  That could be why he’s waking up.  A pacifier is a sleep prop (I certainly used them, too, though, at times!), and it will eventually fall out.  It’s like if someone stole your pillow in the middle of the night, you would wake up.  You might even wake up kind of mad, huh?!  :O)
12. If you put him down with no sleep props, his room is dark/quiet, he went to sleep, he’s swaddled, etc., and he wakes up and cries a tiny bit quietly, I would not go in there.  He is just going through a sleep cycle, and he should go back to sleep soon on his own.
13. Many times when I put Grace down for a nap she doesn’t go to sleep for a couple of hours!  She just talks to herself happily.  Again I just think it is good for babies to have down time. He is learning when he is in there in his bed.  He is looking around, and he is processing everything he learned in the other parts of the house before he went down for a nap.  People who are exhausted can’t learn as well, so this is a great chance for him to think and put two and two together.
14. I know it is hard to leave him in there because everyone says you need to stimulate your baby, etc.   That is true!  We definitely need to stimulate our babies with toys, songs, etc.  But they also need time to process the information.  I feel sorry for babies who can’t have enough peace and quiet.
15. I always tried to be sensitive to company if the crying bothered them — it bothers most people, so I learned to let the schedule go crazy if the company was uncomfortable, esp. grandparents!
16. A fan might be good, even if you don’t point it at him — for air circulation, cooling down if necessary, and for blocking out noise, especially in a small apartment.  For wintertime you can buy a noise machine, although you may need to take it on trips with you!  We try to steer clear of essentials for naptime such as vital blankies or “gotta have ” stuffed animals, noise machines, etc., so that trips are easier.  But again in a small apartment I think the extra noise would be worth it.
17. My babies also went through a stage when they’re strong enough to get their arms free from swaddling.  It is a hinderance to sleep because when they are swaddled they sleep so much better.  The reason my babies wanted their arms free was so they wouldn’t go to sleep.  (My kids were champion sleep fighters)
18. Be careful, though, about a sheet too big because he could wrap it around his neck.
19. I always shut the door when I put my babies down for naps.  I can hear them with the baby monitor.
20. Also you can play soothing music to help the atmosphere of your home.
21. A lot of my babies weren’t on a set time for naps but a schedule depending on when they woke up that day.  For him, each nap schedule could start over every time he eats.
22. The BEST option is to put him down for a nap BEFORE he gets cranky or at the very first peep of crankiness.
23. If “quiet” is impossible because your apartment is small and you can’t shut a door, you can resort to soothing music to block the sounds of you cooking, etc.  But it’s best for him to be able to sleep without the music so he can sleep at in-laws’ house, etc.
24. I think the key is TO PUT HIM DOWN EARLIER, BEFORE HE GETS SO TIRED AND CRANKY.  WHEN WE ARE OVERTIRED EVERYBODY HAS TROUBLE GOING TO SLEEP.
25. I think every new mom has a hard time knowing what to do.   I remember how hard it is!  You really CAN train him to sleep and be happy.
26. Expect problems when he gets off schedule.  On the way home from something you can tell him that when you get home he’s going to go night night.  Tell him it’s going to feel so good in his wonderful soft bed!  Then expect him to have a hard time going to sleep if he missed naps and was out late.  Turn on some nice music, share the burden if your husband is home, rock him, and do what you need to do.  That may not be the time for sleep training!  When we have babies we try to stay home if possible, but you can’t be a hermit! So you live your life and expect that he may not go to sleep well when you get home.
27. He may be getting to the age where he doesn’t sleep when you’re out, even with the pacifier.
28. My babies all slept way longer than charts that said how long babies sleep at that age.  What I did was try to read their cues and put them down after the first peep.  As he gets older, the first peep will take longer to happen after a feeding.
29. Also I am learning that the hardships God sends are character building lessons for me.  It has taken me so long to figure out for instance why God would allow my kids to act up and distract me from something like a sermon.  I think He wants me to flesh out my faith in real life, not just make it ivory tower.  He wants me to really live for the least of these, give up my ugly pride, and give my rights to the Lord.  Hang in there!  It’s worth it!

Q:

At our normal checkup for my baby, the nurses said to start my baby on solids.  The only thing is that they told me specifically was to start him on three vegetables. They told me not to start with fruit because then babies only prefer sweet things.  I don’t know about rice cereal. The nurses didn’t recommend it.
I also thought about separating the vegetables in case of allergy.

A:

1. One thing is that I would start him/her out on one food at a time.  I made Beth allergic to potatoes because I didn’t do that with her.  Look for little dots around his mouth after a food, and if he has that, switch to another food.
2. Bethany still has skin problems related to the eczema she had as a baby.  I didn’t take fish oil when I was pregnant, and I was very liberal about which foods I started her with, etc.
3. Possible Schedule (Only an idea):                                                                                                                                                                                                             1st week:  rice cereal  VERY diluted and mixed with formula or Mom’s milk.  (One of my babies had blood in her stool because I mixed it too thick).  You can very gradually get it thicker and thicker.  Mix it like it says on the box for the baby’s first feeding.

• 2nd few days:  squash or carrots.                                                                                                                                                                                 3rd few days:  green beans                                                                                                                                                                                           4th few days:  peas

• Don’t give your baby fruits or meats yet.  Especially don’t give honey, wheat, milk products, and egg!